Hey guys!! How u doing?-well you might be wondering if this is indeed a mail or a blog but guess what I thought I'd make this blog more interesting by putting an interactive element in it, I mean you know mails kinda talk to the person addressed to in some way or the other and holy goodness there aren’t any social taboos inflicted upon blogs,but let's just cut the crap and start with the blog.Well from 'breaking free' the first impression that comes to my mind is of the 1980s song by the Queens. It also reminds us of the immaculate memories of our childhood when we even had the mindset to defy gravity if given a chance. We always did what we wanted. Anything that came in as opposition was immediately treated as an adversary of the highest degree; it could be a parent, a teacher, a friend or possibly anyone.’ Come what may' was the attitude.
Looking back at the past which is long gone I see myself as a person or someone who is an amalgamation of different characters. I mean I am supposed to be some big time guy in the next 10-15 years with my snap on the cover page of Forbes magazine. So everyone from my parents to my friends to my wife to practically everyone has dreams pertaining to my success or may be their failure to do so. I don't blame them for not achieving what they wanted in their lives but for not letting go. I mean how can you stick to something and waste a greater portion of your life chasing it-guys it's even worse than slow poisoning. When was the last time our parents felt they are free, a time frame when they did not remember about anything other than have fun with their lives. Try it out on any parent and I am sure you would never get an affirmative answer. It was always about us, their marital life, their in laws and god knows what. So mummy dear and daddy dearest perhaps did not realize time the fourth Einsteinian dimension is unperceivable and flies off like Chandrayan 2 and even crashes at a breakpoint. Screw that thought, but you are still left with an inevitable question-Can I break free?
'Breaking free'-Now ever since I started this blog people might have had mental masturbations to comprehend the heck of what it means. Well it doesn’t mean anything and yeah here’s a disclaimer -I am not trying to hurt any community's sentiments and the views are purely intended to exercise democracy at the individual level. It’s always important to frame a disclaimer on anything as mundane as a tweet nowadays as who knows people might get offended :) So if I ask you to dig up your past to the level when you were just a kid and what was it that fascinated you I'd get many answers. I’d tell you mine, as a kid I always wanted to read comics(Chacha Chaudhari and Nagraaj being my favorites),steal food from some guy/girl 's Tiffin(if the guy had a reputation for bringing high class food) compared to roti sabzi which mummy dear would pack with all her energies and love, bunk a class to play cricket, watch cartoons on DD1(the only available channel those days-what a pity).I still remember I would play these pranks on my fellow mates and class mates and those endless thrashings my parents would subject me to after that.As the tiger never eats grass in confinement, similarly as a kid thrashing was not good enough tool to divert my attention from mischief’s. I was genetically gifted with the ability to create mischief over and over again. I mean everyone is people:)
Now after having spent close to 3 decades on planet earth I still feel I am a prisoner of circumstances. I am bounded by social protocols. I lead a sad life and everyday when I look in the mirror I see a loser who is succumbing to comprimises.Yeah-that is a powerful word, I’d repeat it again 'COMPRIMISES'.So as in software or mathematical sciences where theories are derived from axioms or self evident statements,comprimises stand as a harsh truth. The Saurabh of yesterday who always bickered at the thought of compromising with things against fun is subject to compromises at every juncture of his life.Comprimising with reality, comprimising with identity, comprimising with emotions, comprimising with remuneration, comprimising with-'fuck' what not?
Sometimes after having achieved success whatsoever in this material world, I feel I am drifting away from my individual identity. I have murdered my childhood tendencies. I can blame my parents for shaping me the way I am today but is that going to change anything-I guess not. Why can't I just break free and do whatever I want-think about it guys-I mean you can even do a practical experiment-try spending one day at your own terms without any sort of interference from anyone as powerful as your Manager or as naive as your wife. If you can do that I'd express my sincere apologies to you for wasting your time (time that you spent in reading this fucked up blog).Bet it is difficult as there seems to be forces that govern your life beyond your comprehension.
If growing up made me give up on all that innocuous fun I experienced as a child in flesh and blood, then I regret growing up. Is there anyway I can achieve that, is there any possibility I can break free. Sadly these are questions similar to ones appearing in the Sunday edition of Times of India which have no answer. I read a book sometime back by Robin Sharma called 'The monk who sold his Ferrari' which spoke about something similar but like the protagonist there I can't just fly off leaving apart everything in the conquest of happiness. But why can't I, it aint that difficult-I mean yeah that would mean leaving a lot of things from my wife to may parents to my job and of course the EMIs(how can I forget them).But is the risk worth taking. So you see the difference-back in our childhood it would not take us a fraction of a second to break free but now as we have become more wise and mature, we have developed this innate ability to create infinite barriers in the path of breaking free. As David A Shiang says 'Free Will is an illusion' we have consoled ourselves to this fact and live by it religiously day and night with every breath coming out of our bosom. I guess we can't now and even if we do 'fear' would eventually consume all the strength we would have gathered somehow-fear is a bitch you have gotta live with analogous to Microsoft Windows :)
I guess there does not exist anyway we can break free or it does? If it does exist then why do most of us end up becoming victims of circumstances? I know the wise would say accept it as your fate or may be we can attach some karmic definition to it. Who gives a fuck-I mean it's your fucking life which is sliding like the sand in the hourglass. Do we really love ourselves or assume we do because we just bought a pair of Tommy Hilfiger Jeans or Rayban sunglasses. Guess I am kinda tired(thanks to my age and metabolism) and I am gonna digest the fact that this was a useless discussion as the real world is harsh and you have got to live the harshness, embrace the mediocrity and God knows what. Guys I sincerely apologize for wasting your time but yeah before you doze off to this ethereal reality, I’d say why not try to break free once again and face the consequences:)-Again I'd love to issue a disclaimer-please don't intend to copy or imitate actions expressed in this blog and events of similarity are purely coincidental:)
Thanks and Regards
Saurabh
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
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